The truthiness is in the eye of the beholder.

onnotice3

This is double-plus awesome.

Via Instaputz.

I’m having trouble believing this is from a scholarly journal and not The Onion. Maybe it’s a postmodern journal? Goddamn social sciences.

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

What the hell is up with all the pro-Carla people lately? Seriously? I mean, seriously? I get it, she’s cooky and probably entertaining to some (I have to keep reminding myself that hurling a book at my LCD TV would make me want to hang myself every time she goes on about how she “puts love” in her food, or her “spirit” talk shit). But really? Have you been watching the same show I have?

You know, the one where Stefan has killed the competition repeatedly? I can’t remember a more dominant chef in Top Chef. Yeah, I thought last season was in Blaise’s pocket (I was happy with Stephanie winning, she also kicked ass), but he choked. Tough. Still, Stefan keeps proving he’s miles ahead of the rest. And before you start telling me how he’s an ass, allow me to pretort (preemptively retort, bitches!): So fucking what? Bastard can cook like a mofo.

This is not to mention how Carla, until the last what? Three episodes was always fucking up terribly and would somehow manage to avoid elimination. How many times was she on the bottom three because of some terribly, truly baffling mistake? And yes, my impression of her culinary abilities has greatly increased given the past few episodes, but still. I am thankful, though, that she’s at least not a douchebag like Lisa from S4. Sweet Jesus, she was not only unimaginative and miraculously avoiding elimination, but a total pain to watch. I know I might be threading close to a contradiction. Why am I cool with Stefan being an ass and Lisa not? Well, first of, I am willing to cut a lot of asshole-slack when said jerk is talented. But annoying hacks? Fuck that shit. Secondly, “being nice” only counts as extra-credit. You only consider it if somebody needs a hand. Basic sympathy. But if somebody is kicking ass, what the hell does it matter if he (rather intelligently) gets on competitor’s heads or if he’s (rightfully) cocky? He doesn’t need your sympathy, his cooking does all the talking needed. Carla needs her puzzling, odd, insane and apparently endearing to some behavior do part of the talking, is all I’m saying.

To sum it up: What the fuck, internets? Are you seriously rooting for some complete nutjob? LOVE IS A FEELING NOT A FLAVOR, GODSDAMNIT! DO I PAIR IT WITH TOFU IN AN ANTICIPATION-REDUCTION?

P.S. I have deliberately discussed Hosea at the length that his chances of winning deserve.

This is the sound of my head exploding

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more about “Video: Paul McCartney on The Colbert …“, posted with vodpod

Stephen Colbert and Paul McCartney together.

How in the fucking hell did I only learn about this now? Please forgive me, FSM, for being not up to date on my Colbertology.

What the deuce?

The only Starbuck that matters

The only Starbuck that matters

It is known that I am a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica (“BSG,” henceforth). The new BSG, that is. I had never seen the old series, I didn’t even know about it until the new one came out and friends would tell me about this new version of some old cheesy Star Wars ripoff I’d never heard about. I guess it never aired in Mexico, who knows. Now, I’ve watched a few bits of the old show, can’t say I’ve seen a whole episode, though I kinda get a feel of the vibe and tone of the original series.

While I may be no expert on the original BSG, I feel I know enough of it to make the following judgment: The new BSG is not only a far better show, but comparing them directly is unfair to the original series. They serve two different purposes, targeted two different crowds, etc. In a way, it’s like comparing TV’s Batman (KAPOW!) with The Dark Knight (let me show you a magic trick).

Not being in the same category notwithstanding, this whiny baby diatribe from Dirk Bennedict (the original Starbuck) is laughable and sad. I am hoping he is simply pissed off because he perceived some kind of snub from the new BSG showrunners and all we’re reading is spite masked as complaints. Because otherwise, WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELLS ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT, YOU BRAINLESS APE?

Not only is it revealing of terrible, punishable by time in federal prison artistic sensibilities, but of some really messed up misoginy and not even closeted chauvinism. Or is he pulling a Sasha Baron Cohen and submitting that article in (original womanizing Starbuck) character?

I mean, sure, he’s likely just going for a publicity stunt. Most people remember that Richard Hatch also had some beef with the new BSG, and they ended up making nice and he’s become a really solid part of the extended cast, and everybody’s super happy. But shooting is over, there’s no way DB is going to be part in any way, shape, or form of the new BSG. So, what’s the point? Publicity for publicity’s sake? If so, wouldn’t it be a bit more prudent to limit yourself to critquing how they’re butchering the essence of BSG without getting into middle ages chest thumpin’ stupid-ass shit about how, and I quote: “Men hand out cigars. Women ‘hand out’ babies.” Seriously?

Fuck you, chauvinist-asshole-shitty-actor-with-terrible-sense-for-what-makes-good-TV-dickhead. Go play with that fucking robodog, or maybe go to a motherfucking casino not ten hours after your civilization has been nearly wiped out by evil fucking robots, that sure makes a shitload of sense, retard!

P.S. Do not read this post as a device to gain favor with the ever-lovely Katee Sackhoff, the first of many steps which will lead undoubtedly to her professing undying love for me. That’s what mixed tapes are for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go dust off my cassette player.

P.P.S. Do not read this post either as a snub to the equally-ever-lovely Grace Park. I shall make you two mixed tapes, to make up for any potential misunderstanding and pain this post might have caused you. I’d call, but there’s a warrant.

UPDATE- I had totally missed the part in which he brags that once BSG got cancelled he basically took the same character he had “created” (I’m getting the feel that there might be more than tangential similarities between his “various” characters and his own real self) and gave him a new name for the A-Team. Hahahahahaha. What the fuck, man? You are bragging about having only one character in your thespian repertoire? Somebody tell me he went to the Peter Sellers Academy, I begs ya.

SON OF UPDATE: THE UPDATENING- Upon further rereaderings I have come to the conclusion that the dude is hopeless. Sadly, there’s no doubt left in my mind that he’s simply a bona fide utter chauvinist nutjob. Calling Ron Moore a technocrat is way hilarious though, props for that. It’s always awesome when people start flinging words like that.

Hilarious Colbert Clip of the Day.

Prescott Oil Loves the Earth!

A lot of people talk about loving the earth, but how many of them actually penetrate it?

I gotta say I’m now convinced that trusting huge transnational energy companies to do the right thing on their own is the way to go. Forgive me, invisible hand of the Free Market.

It’s a split!

You keep saying that word…

Fair and Balanced News at work!

Oh, tasty self-delusion, you taste like fairness and balance.

Via Great Orange Satan

EDIT: Sweet Raptor-riding Jesus*, somebody please show this retard how to use wikipedia or any other search tool. I cannot believe he really thinks “gotcha journalism” is asking pointless questions entirely unrelated to anything that’s being discussed, that the interviewee has absolutely no chance of knowing the answer to (Via Wonkette).

*Yes, this has been shamelessly stolen from First Draft’s Athena (and I know she’s not likely to be the one who first used it, but it’s the one I read it from, shut up hippies!).

Curse you, Marvel Comics!

For making me want to buy soon-to-be-released Spider-Man comics featuring the one and only Stephen T. Colbert. Luckily for my finances, I don’t even know where to buy comics around here.

Apparently, there’s been “Colbert for President” signs appearing in Marvel comics lately.

Those brilliant, greedy bastards.

EDIT: There appears to be a whole lotta posts on the Indecision 2008 blog about news stories from the Marvel Universe where Colbert is still running for President (alongside Obama and McCain, it appears). Skrulls seem to be the biggest campaign issue there, from what I see.