Rey Mysterio Announcement

It’s been at least 5 days in a row that people land on this here blog by searching wordpress for Rey Mysterio (no doubt because of this post). And being the man of the people that I am, I hereby make a blogpost for all your Rey Mysterio needs! I am nothing if not committed to the rights of the masses.

So here’s Rey Mysterio’s wiki page.
Here are some youtube videos of Rey Mysterio.
And his most famous move is the 619

…and can I have it in twenties, please?

This is hilarious, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these guys end up as Darwin Award recipients.

Two Japanese travelers trying to enter Switzerland were caught carrying $134 billion — yes, billion — in fake US Treasury bonds in a briefcase. The forgeries contained 249 securities with a face value of $500 million, several “worth” more than $1 billion, and several “Kennedy” bonds, which, um, are just totally made up to begin with

Now, what were these guys thinking. Did they realize just how much money $134 billion is?

Had the notes been genuine, the pair would have been the U.S. government’s fourth-biggest creditor, ahead of the U.K. with $128 billion of U.S. debt and just behind Russia, which is owed $138 billion.

They should’ve at least arrived with a fake Bill Gates ID. There’s some cool graphics on the post in The Atlantic.

Curse you, homos!

Your we-demand-to-be-treated-like-citizens antics were too much for the sanctity of Senator Ensign’s marriage to withstand.

I hope you are happy.

Poor bastard’s so getting impeached if word comes out he got a blowjob. Oh wait, nevermind.

Now I will go watch some incredibly athletic men run around in shorts, get all sweaty, and tackle each other to reaffirm my heterosexuality and secure the fate of any (hetero) relationship I may find myself in. I’m not taking any chances with these queers prancing about. Confederations Cup you are my only hope!

Everybody’s working for the weekend

Sad to disappoint but no, this is not a post about the Cool Cats.

This is a post about how embarrassing it is to read the tweets of senators. What the fuck is the matter with reading like a 13yr old on his way to the mall? Seriously, this shit is fuckin’ embarrassing, Sen. Grassley.

I get the need to contract words because of the 140 character limitation, but there’s no need to sound that stupid. First, you can use more than one tweet, then there’s also GODDAMN BLOGS. You don’t have to write Glennzilla-like mammoth posts. If it takes 180 characters instead of <140 to say something and not sound like somebody who should lose xbox privileges until he gets a B or better in science class, then so be it. It’s not like following blindly the recent fad in online communication makes you look any hipper, either.

Also, it’s not only purely the character limitation. The tweets read really really teenage whiny. It’s really sad. You can picture him shouting from inside his locked bedroom. Probably listening to whatever is the teenage angst band du jour. I mean come on, replace the recipient of the tweet (Obama) and the particular topic of discussion (health care), and this is just another angry kid who was told to stop acting like a damned spoiled brat, and went on a painful to watch hissy fit.

Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a “hammer” u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL

Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us”time to deliver” on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.

If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!

Now, if you finish your meat, you can watch this:

But only ’cause I love The Tod.

John Cole is a happy man

Finally somebody came through with the J-Lo-Sotomayor comparison, and it is truly hilarious in the lunatic flavor that it was inevitable to come in.

Today’s Wikipedia News

Maybe now the Tom Cruise entry can truthfully reflect how much he sucks and what little range he has. When Ben Stiller plays a better you than you, you really should think of going back to acting school. Assuming you want to widen your thespian reach, of course. Nothing wrong in making a metric fuckton of dough playing the same character who has the same winning smile and determination every single mofuckin time.

But this is not a story on Tom Cruise per se. It is about Scientology and the joke they are.

My take on it? Lulz.

Today’s lesson in Mexspanish

Gordibuena

This word has always cracked me up. Yes, mexicans are chauvinist pigs. But they come up with some hilarious words.

I just found out this blog, but so far it’s pretty hilarious. Some words/concepts/attitudes I would say are not unique to Mexico city, but to most (or all, or at least Monterrey) of Mexico. Some others sound terribly chilangas (from Mexico City).