Roquefort Day

Hmmm. Tasty Moldy Cheese.

Hmmm. Tasty Moldy Cheese.

Finally the land of the free has lifted the de facto embargo (300% import tax) on Roquefort!

To celebrate the ocassion, I direct thee to this Herbed Mashed Potatoes with Roquefort recipe from the NY Times.

Happy Roquefort Day!

Confession time

I cannot stand the acronym/buzzword/stupid-ass pseudoword “EVOO.”

There, I said it.

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

What the hell is up with all the pro-Carla people lately? Seriously? I mean, seriously? I get it, she’s cooky and probably entertaining to some (I have to keep reminding myself that hurling a book at my LCD TV would make me want to hang myself every time she goes on about how she “puts love” in her food, or her “spirit” talk shit). But really? Have you been watching the same show I have?

You know, the one where Stefan has killed the competition repeatedly? I can’t remember a more dominant chef in Top Chef. Yeah, I thought last season was in Blaise’s pocket (I was happy with Stephanie winning, she also kicked ass), but he choked. Tough. Still, Stefan keeps proving he’s miles ahead of the rest. And before you start telling me how he’s an ass, allow me to pretort (preemptively retort, bitches!): So fucking what? Bastard can cook like a mofo.

This is not to mention how Carla, until the last what? Three episodes was always fucking up terribly and would somehow manage to avoid elimination. How many times was she on the bottom three because of some terribly, truly baffling mistake? And yes, my impression of her culinary abilities has greatly increased given the past few episodes, but still. I am thankful, though, that she’s at least not a douchebag like Lisa from S4. Sweet Jesus, she was not only unimaginative and miraculously avoiding elimination, but a total pain to watch. I know I might be threading close to a contradiction. Why am I cool with Stefan being an ass and Lisa not? Well, first of, I am willing to cut a lot of asshole-slack when said jerk is talented. But annoying hacks? Fuck that shit. Secondly, “being nice” only counts as extra-credit. You only consider it if somebody needs a hand. Basic sympathy. But if somebody is kicking ass, what the hell does it matter if he (rather intelligently) gets on competitor’s heads or if he’s (rightfully) cocky? He doesn’t need your sympathy, his cooking does all the talking needed. Carla needs her puzzling, odd, insane and apparently endearing to some behavior do part of the talking, is all I’m saying.

To sum it up: What the fuck, internets? Are you seriously rooting for some complete nutjob? LOVE IS A FEELING NOT A FLAVOR, GODSDAMNIT! DO I PAIR IT WITH TOFU IN AN ANTICIPATION-REDUCTION?

P.S. I have deliberately discussed Hosea at the length that his chances of winning deserve.

Are you ready for Super Sunday?

You probably think you are, but let me tell you something: You are not.

Finish all your vegetables… and don’t forget about the dirt!

Dirt is the new superfood, bitches!

It’s science, can’t argue with that, so go serve yourself a good ole bowl of healthy dirt and worms, make yourself a mud cake. Your body will love you for it.

You can thank me later

It's almost not fair

It's almost not fair

When in doubt, add chives.

Theorem: Not adding chives to potatoes in creamy cheddar sauce is criminal. The proof is left as an exercize to the reader.

Freedom Fries!

Exporting our dietary freedoms rules!

Personally, I am all for making me thinner by comparison to the rest of the fattening world. It doesn’t involve any of that annoying “eat less” crap.