I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

The only chef worth rooting for. Suck it.

What the hell is up with all the pro-Carla people lately? Seriously? I mean, seriously? I get it, she’s cooky and probably entertaining to some (I have to keep reminding myself that hurling a book at my LCD TV would make me want to hang myself every time she goes on about how she “puts love” in her food, or her “spirit” talk shit). But really? Have you been watching the same show I have?

You know, the one where Stefan has killed the competition repeatedly? I can’t remember a more dominant chef in Top Chef. Yeah, I thought last season was in Blaise’s pocket (I was happy with Stephanie winning, she also kicked ass), but he choked. Tough. Still, Stefan keeps proving he’s miles ahead of the rest. And before you start telling me how he’s an ass, allow me to pretort (preemptively retort, bitches!): So fucking what? Bastard can cook like a mofo.

This is not to mention how Carla, until the last what? Three episodes was always fucking up terribly and would somehow manage to avoid elimination. How many times was she on the bottom three because of some terribly, truly baffling mistake? And yes, my impression of her culinary abilities has greatly increased given the past few episodes, but still. I am thankful, though, that she’s at least not a douchebag like Lisa from S4. Sweet Jesus, she was not only unimaginative and miraculously avoiding elimination, but a total pain to watch. I know I might be threading close to a contradiction. Why am I cool with Stefan being an ass and Lisa not? Well, first of, I am willing to cut a lot of asshole-slack when said jerk is talented. But annoying hacks? Fuck that shit. Secondly, “being nice” only counts as extra-credit. You only consider it if somebody needs a hand. Basic sympathy. But if somebody is kicking ass, what the hell does it matter if he (rather intelligently) gets on competitor’s heads or if he’s (rightfully) cocky? He doesn’t need your sympathy, his cooking does all the talking needed. Carla needs her puzzling, odd, insane and apparently endearing to some behavior do part of the talking, is all I’m saying.

To sum it up: What the fuck, internets? Are you seriously rooting for some complete nutjob? LOVE IS A FEELING NOT A FLAVOR, GODSDAMNIT! DO I PAIR IT WITH TOFU IN AN ANTICIPATION-REDUCTION?

P.S. I have deliberately discussed Hosea at the length that his chances of winning deserve.


3 Responses

  1. For the record: Fuck that noise. That was pure, unabashed bullshit.

  2. I liked Carla. Sorry. I didn’t think Stefan was all that and a bag of chips. He really liked to do his whole European fine food thing. At least Carla would attempt vegetarian far and the like.

  3. Fare! not far. 😦

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