What the deuce?

The only Starbuck that matters

The only Starbuck that matters

It is known that I am a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica (“BSG,” henceforth). The new BSG, that is. I had never seen the old series, I didn’t even know about it until the new one came out and friends would tell me about this new version of some old cheesy Star Wars ripoff I’d never heard about. I guess it never aired in Mexico, who knows. Now, I’ve watched a few bits of the old show, can’t say I’ve seen a whole episode, though I kinda get a feel of the vibe and tone of the original series.

While I may be no expert on the original BSG, I feel I know enough of it to make the following judgment: The new BSG is not only a far better show, but comparing them directly is unfair to the original series. They serve two different purposes, targeted two different crowds, etc. In a way, it’s like comparing TV’s Batman (KAPOW!) with The Dark Knight (let me show you a magic trick).

Not being in the same category notwithstanding, this whiny baby diatribe from Dirk Bennedict (the original Starbuck) is laughable and sad. I am hoping he is simply pissed off because he perceived some kind of snub from the new BSG showrunners and all we’re reading is spite masked as complaints. Because otherwise, WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELLS ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT, YOU BRAINLESS APE?

Not only is it revealing of terrible, punishable by time in federal prison artistic sensibilities, but of some really messed up misoginy and not even closeted chauvinism. Or is he pulling a Sasha Baron Cohen and submitting that article in (original womanizing Starbuck) character?

I mean, sure, he’s likely just going for a publicity stunt. Most people remember that Richard Hatch also had some beef with the new BSG, and they ended up making nice and he’s become a really solid part of the extended cast, and everybody’s super happy. But shooting is over, there’s no way DB is going to be part in any way, shape, or form of the new BSG. So, what’s the point? Publicity for publicity’s sake? If so, wouldn’t it be a bit more prudent to limit yourself to critquing how they’re butchering the essence of BSG without getting into middle ages chest thumpin’ stupid-ass shit about how, and I quote: “Men hand out cigars. Women ‘hand out’ babies.” Seriously?

Fuck you, chauvinist-asshole-shitty-actor-with-terrible-sense-for-what-makes-good-TV-dickhead. Go play with that fucking robodog, or maybe go to a motherfucking casino not ten hours after your civilization has been nearly wiped out by evil fucking robots, that sure makes a shitload of sense, retard!

P.S. Do not read this post as a device to gain favor with the ever-lovely Katee Sackhoff, the first of many steps which will lead undoubtedly to her professing undying love for me. That’s what mixed tapes are for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go dust off my cassette player.

P.P.S. Do not read this post either as a snub to the equally-ever-lovely Grace Park. I shall make you two mixed tapes, to make up for any potential misunderstanding and pain this post might have caused you. I’d call, but there’s a warrant.

UPDATE- I had totally missed the part in which he brags that once BSG got cancelled he basically took the same character he had “created” (I’m getting the feel that there might be more than tangential similarities between his “various” characters and his own real self) and gave him a new name for the A-Team. Hahahahahaha. What the fuck, man? You are bragging about having only one character in your thespian repertoire? Somebody tell me he went to the Peter Sellers Academy, I begs ya.

SON OF UPDATE: THE UPDATENING- Upon further rereaderings I have come to the conclusion that the dude is hopeless. Sadly, there’s no doubt left in my mind that he’s simply a bona fide utter chauvinist nutjob. Calling Ron Moore a technocrat is way hilarious though, props for that. It’s always awesome when people start flinging words like that.

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2 Responses

  1. I hate the tat.

    Hate.

  2. I love that tattoo. It is perfectly matched to another BSG character. Better than a ring, IMO.

    But as an expert in the 70s BSG, I can say, without a doubt, that the new BSG is leaps and bounds above the old one. Old BSG is Mormon Theology for the Star Wars generation. New BSG is allegory for modern life.

    SO much better.

    Also, FACE sucked. DB’s Starbuck cannot hold a candle to Kara Thrace.

    Finally, Hatch complained about the new BSG but he wanted to work with Ron Moore. Zerrik is the result. GOOD CALL RICH!

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