1.21 Gigawatts

Apparently those sons o’ bitches at The Onion had a Flux Capacitor-enabled DeLorean back in 2001 and not only used it to glimpse into the future (The Future, Conan?), but were so irresponsible as to disguise their findings under the veil of alleged “funny sarcasm.” Truly appaling, the degree of irresponsability of these no good hipster liberal fascists.

No, seriously. Check it out:

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

“You better believe we’re going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration,” said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. “Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?”

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

If it wasn’t the day that this irresponsible, destructive, petty, disastrous, morally-abhorrent asshole leaves office, I’d be crying.

Please, for the love of FSM, let there be an investigation on his war crimes (at least). Here’s one for the road, asshole.


Allow me to relink Colbert’s moment of Clairvoyantiness from back in 2000 as well.

Tip o’ the hat to The Great Orange Satan.


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