Somebody shoot me.

A couple days ago I saw this hilarious video from The Onion entitled “Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election.” Pretty funny.

Today I come across this article from the AP where they conducted some kind of poll to find out… wait for it: which candidate is preferred by pet owners*.

Can you come up with a less informative way to cover the elections? I mean, it’s not like there’s actual policies that could be described and analyzed for their worth, viability and relevance to the state of the nation. I mean, the country is doing so awesomely, after all. It’s not like we should actually pay attention to what we’re being offered so we can make an informed decision.

Yeah, I think finding out who has the “Two cats, one dog and a parakeet” demographic contributes way more to an informed nation. Really, I feel like I now have a much better grasp on the issues facing the country and who’s better suited to confront them.

You know what, screw you AP. I’m gonna quote more than five words from your worthless piece of shit story, just out of spite. I’m picking a particularly illuminating part:

So the AKC has narrowed the choices down to five breeds and is asking the public to vote at http://www.presidentialpup.com with voting to continue until mid-August.

Their suggestions: Bichon Frise, Chinese crested, poodle, soft coated Wheaten Terrier or miniature Schnauzer.

No seriously, somebody Cheney me.

*If you must know, but don’t want to click: McCain-42%, Obama 37%.

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One Response

  1. I had to watch on the local news who won based on bobble head dolls purchases.

    WTF???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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