Bring out the On Notice board, Jimmy!

Some are self-explanatory, some may require a little context. Just in case:

  • Micro Black Holes at Cern’s LHC: Scientist say they are absolutely no problem at all. Paranoid tinfoil hat people with zero background on physics go apocalyptic. I can’t trust scientists, they’re too facty.
  • Communist Panda Bears: I had heard somewhere that Pandas weren’t actually bears. It was all communist lies! Goddamn Mao-reading godless man-killing machines!
  • John McCain: Not only did he say, with a goddamn straight face, that “In the twenty-first century nations don’t invade other nations.” But also, defending his pick of “Dancing Queen” as his favorite song, said “I’ve got to say that a lot of my taste in music stopped about the time I impacted a surface-to-air missile with my own airplane and never caught up again.” (In case one needs a quick refresher: McCain became a POW in ’67, Abba only started recording in ’72) Hey! Don’t let us stop you from gratuitous “HEY HAVE I TOLD YOU I WAS A POW!?” shit, not even ones that are so blatantly bullshit.
  • Cokie “I know Hawaii is a state” Roberts: You’ve probably heard about it, but just in case; this lunatic criticized Obama for vacationing in one of America’s favorite tourist destinations, Hawaii, for being too “exotic,” and “foreign.” Yes. Nevermind he has family there, and that IT IS PART OF THE COUNTRY. What the hell is the matter with these idiotic Washington “pundits.” Seriously.
  • Mother Nature: It’s been raining pretty much nonstop all goddamn week. If I wanted to go through Monsoon Season, I would move to Southeast Asia! Give me back summer. I want to go to the beach.
  • Dubya: Not wanting to be upstaged by McCain’s unbelievable dismissal of recent events, said: “bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century.” It’s like they have an awareness switch. Or they are giant flaming d-bags. Probably both.
  • Hughes Dubosq: He’s that french swimmer who doesn’t wear a cap. I cannot think of a more french thing to do as a swimmer competing in the Olympics.
  • Houston: Look at post below.
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2 Responses

  1. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

  2. […] -The Abba incident. […]

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