Nothing says experience

…like having been in the office that allegedly qualifies you for the job for less time than your running mate has been campaigning for his.

On related news: Man, being in a “competitive” (aka where your vote actually matters) state actually feels like there’s a campaign going. All those attack ads and stuff I’ve been reading about on the webs because I’d never seen them on the teevee in New York? Well they run all the damn time here in Michigan. Sweet FSM, how I hate the anachronistic, useless, antidemocratic electoral college system.

Also, I watched a bit of Face the Nation, were they discussed the Pallin pick. Of course, Bob Schieffer tried to keep things fair and balanced, so he had Rudy “nine-eleven” Giuliani on the conservative side, and wait for it… Joe mothertruckin’ Lieberman to provide commentary from the “Democratic” side. Liberal Media! Woooo! Goddamn clowns. Of course both Lieberman and Giuliani offered nothing but logicaly inconsistent talking points.

McCain’s Health Care Policy.

A heavy dose of semantics therapy, and 2 cc’s of areyoufuckingshittingmecilin, courtesy of John Goodman*, advisor on health care to John McCain:

So I have a solution. And it will cost not one thin dime,” Mr. Goodman* said. “The next president of the United States should sign an executive order requiring the Census Bureau to cease and desist from describing any American — even illegal aliens — as uninsured. Instead, the bureau should categorize people according to the likely source of payment should they need care.

“So, there you have it. Voila! Problem solved.

The only sensible answer to this is, no doubt:

Shut the fuck up, Johnny, You’re out of your element. You have no frame of reference here. You are like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know… Here’s my point, there’s no fucking reason why these two… THE CHINAMAN IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE, DUDE! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand.

*Yeah, I know not that John Goodman. Shut up, you too are out of your element.

EDIT- McCain’s campaign says Goodman is not an advisor to McCain. The reporters answer “bullshit.” They also point out that the Semantics Pills are in very good agreement with McCain’s stated views on what needs to be done re: Health Care.

Bill Clinton: Bad MoFo.

If you haven’t seen his ridiculously good (and effective) speech, here it is with accompanying transcript courtesy of the New York Times.

Oh, and by the way? The clip starts after a minute-long cheer from the crowd. Then Bill took the podium, said “Thank You,” trying to get the crowd to let him talk. After close to two minutes, he tried to start his speech, but the crowd would not be silenced. They wouldn’t let him start for another minute and a half. There is when the previously linked video starts. For a non-transcript, full version (including crazy crowds) courtesy of C-SPAN click here.

The man covered so much ground. It really takes a crazy gifted speaker to talk about all those topics with such clarity. Not to mention to turn it into a cohesive speech.

He made the case for why Obama is qualified, why he has shown the right judgment over and over. He made the case of the destruction these past eight years have caused. How the administration has rewarded American’s hard work with amounts to spitting on their faces.

There were so many great passages,  this one I think is a beatifully devastating attack on the GOP’s Policies.

{…] But on the two great questions of this election, how to rebuild the American Dream and how to restore America’s leadership in the world, he still embraces the extreme philosophy which has defined his party for more than 25 years. And it is, to be fair, to all the Americans who aren’t as hard-core democrats as we, it’s a philosophy we never had a real chance to see in action until 2001, when the Republicans finally gained control of both the White House and Congress. Then we saw what would happen to America if the policies they had talked about for decades were actually implemented.

They took us from record surpluses to an exploding national debt; from over 22 million new jobs down to 5 million; from an increase in working family incomes of $7,500 to a decline of more than $2,000; from almost 8 million Americans moving out of poverty to more than 5 and a half million falling into poverty – and millions more losing their health insurance.

Now, in spite of all the evidence, their candidate is promising more of the same: More tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans that will swell the deficit, increase inequality, and weaken the economy. More band-aids for health care that will enrich insurance companies, impoverish families and increase the number of uninsured. More going it alone in the world, instead of building the shared responsibilities and shared opportunities necessary to advance our security and restore our influence.

They actually want us to reward them for the last eight years by giving them four more. Let’s send them a message that will echo from the Rockies all across America: Thanks, but no thanks. In this case, the third time is not the charm.

It manages to hit on a few crucial points.

  1. Republican (in this case domestic) policies are extreme.
  2. In these past eight years, they had free reign to enact their ideas into policy. There are no excuses.
  3. It’s been an unmitigated disaster. Of truly epic proportions.
  4. They think this is great, and are telling you it is a great idea to keep them in charge.
  5. They are incapable of learning from their mistakes and the effects of their terribly misguided policy.
  6. Americans know better.

Beautiful.

The rest of the speech is great, but I thought this part was particularly excellent in it’s succint and iluminating asswhoopery. Sonovabitch would still be president if there weren’t term limits*.

*I am not advocating we do away with two term limits. Simply making an observation.

EDIT- Screw it, one more awesome quote. Because it was that good.

People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example, than by the example of our power.

Liberal Media!

Tom Brokaw, renowned cripto-communist, tells it like it is: The Deomcratic Party cannot really criticize McCain, because he was once a prisoner in Hanoi.

This is, no doubt, serious journalism of the highest caliber at work.

Wait, what on earth does having been a PoW have to do with immunity from scrutiny? Oh, please excuse me. I forgot McCain’s actions and statements are given Ex PoW Cathedra.

Quis factchekiet ipso factchekes?

The AP’s “Fact Check” valiantly (and no doubt unbiasedly) proves as inaccurate an assertion that was never made!

.

You keep using that word.

Hard Work*,” I don’t think it means what you think it means.

That’s what Mitt Romney credited for McCain’s ability to own multiple expensive houses.

On a second thought, since McCain’s wealth comes from having married his beer heiress wife, is he saying she is too high maintenance? I will make no further comments** on the various shades of the word “hard.” I am not that crass. Right? What on earth could Romney possibly mean?

I gotta say, it’s pretty awesome seeing all these GOP talking heads respond to the many houses issue. Oh, and McCain just went all verb+noun+PoW on national television! Then some spokesguy said, and I shit you not “It is not a talking point. It’s a fact.” Good to know GOP talking points are finally recognized as utter horseshit, mutually exclusive with the concept of truth!

I cannot imagine a lower level of self awareness than what these people are displaying. No one has volunteered an explanation as to the connection between PoW and relating to the needs of non-rich people. Shocking! I know.

*via TPM.

**In-your-endo, The Todd would call it.

I take it back.

I can’t remain a dirty godless atheist no more. Not after seeing Luchador Jesus*.

Not only that, but I also just found out about Fray Tormenta:

Yes, Fray Tormenta (“Friar Storm”) is real. There was a Mexican Wrestler-Priest. I believe this is what’s behind the country’s overwhelming Catholicness.

*Thank you, friend of my brother who I don’t know, for posting this on Facebook. And to my brother, for commenting on them so I could see them on my news feed.