This is what happens when nutjobs use the tubes.

Reasonable. You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

Oh, Conservapedia. Why must you be the source of so many lulz. This one article here, goes with a special dedication to OPB.

A website after mine own heart.

Mc Cain is really old dot com.

A sample:

Also from there, I learn that McCain is getting up-to-date in European political geography. He is now aware that the Germany has been reunified! Czechoslovak loyalists tremble.

Does anyone remember laughter?

Yes Robert Plant*, we do. But just in case you feel like you don’t, allow me to help.

Patton Oswalt is one of my favorite standup comics. The man is hilarious. And the way he approaches subjects appeals to me.

Here he is doing his KFC Bowl bit (NSFW language):

More Patton Oswalt hilarious goodness below the fold.

*From the Stairway to Heaven version in the “The Song Remains The Same” album/movie (around the 4:10 mark, to be precise). Continue reading

It’s Friday!

So that means it’s about time for another family-values protecting crusader to get caught doing not entirely family-values approved stuff.

Who is it this time? Peter Hong, who “[…] has been in and out of the Republican side of Minnesota politics since the mid-1990s, when he surfaced as a genial bulldog campaign press secretary for former Sen. Rod Grams, R-Minn. He served as a spokesman for Gov. Tim Pawlenty’s campaign in 2002 and for the Bush-Cheney campaign in Minnesota in 2004.”

Mr. Hong was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.

Now, I will spare you of a terribly contrived segway from family values hypocrite bullshit into birth control bullshit, and just give you the hilarious “Every Sperm is Sacred” from Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life.” Because I want to.

I will say this, though: Mr. Hong, you have made God quite irate. Oh man, I’m so funny sometimes.

Somebody stop me!

One of the health concerns for veggies (comme moi) is getting enough protein in your diet (and btw, most people nowdays eat more protein than they need). Luckily for me, I’ve been eating protein-rich chickpeas lately. A LOT.

I cannot stop eating delicious Chickpea Salad (mock Tuna/Chicken Salad style). It is delicious. Too delicious. And crunchy. And chickpeas are crazy healthy too! I added some scallions, corn, and would have added celery if I had. I am forever indebted to Astrani for this eye-opening recipe.

Not to mention I’ve been making delicious hummus regulary. Chives go really well in it.

Oh, and this awesome Chickpea Ragout recipe by The Man himself, Jacques Pepin, is scrumptious. Not to mention way easy to cook.

If avocados weren’t so damn expensive here, I’d be eating halved, cored, avocados; filled with delicious chickpea salad.

I should also make some tasty chickpea curry soon. Turmeric (used in lots of indian curry recipes) is also really good for you!

And in the rare case that you have some inexplicable aversion to chickpeas (seriously, what the hell?), I present you a super delicious Corn and Hominy Chowder recipe, a really nice take on mexican Pozole. Courtesy,  once again, of the genius that is Jacques Pepin.

All the recipes I’ve linked to in here are super easy to make. And delicious. Did I mention how delicious they are?

D-bag of the week.

Michael Savage, a hateful moron who says shit so ridiculous not even a person as disgusting as him can believe.

So, who is he hating on now? The gays? The non-white? The non-fascists? Nope. Kids with autism and their families. Yes. You read that right.

Michael Savage on his radio show on July 16th:

“[a] fraud, a racket. … I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, ‘Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.’ “

What’s a trud d-bag to do after people hear the nonsensical, insulting for publicity’s sake, retarded shit? Well, defend yourself and make it clear you do not think what you said merits an apology. Of course, he blames those pinko commie hate groups who post nutjob’s comments with full fucking transcripts for being taken out of context. Class act, all around!

Why is this man on the radio? How can somebody think his opinions are worthy of a radio show? Do we have so many goddamn idiots that truly value his comments so that this is a purely business and zero political decision? I really don’t want to think that is true. I’d rather not have a little peace of my soul die today.

Side-order of one finger salute to CNN for giving hateful ignorant moron Glenn Beck a guest host gig wherein he can bring in people even crazier than him. Awesome job, liberal media!

I shall bring back my dutch little friend from The Finger for this.

Before I forget…

Go see The Dark Knight. I’ll even make it easier. Here’s the Fandango link to the movie. Enter your zip code and look for show times near you.

Ignore your stupid inner voice that says “any movie getting this much early praise and hype is doomed to be dissapointing.” That voice doesn’t have a freakin’ clue what it’s talking about. Silence it, and get thyself to the movies. Same goes for the voice that may say “Heath Ledger will always be the dude from ’10 things I hate about you’, no way he will do the joker justice.” If you catch yourself thinking something remotely along these lines, punch thyself in the groin.

You can thank me later.

No, seriously. Do not be a goddamn dumbass and let this movie pass. If you can score tickets for IMAX (which may be hard for the next week, at least) even better. I need to see this movie in glorious IMAX.